deepest gloom

Depression has a powerful narcissistic aspect. (No wonder it is the territory of creatives; all artists are egoists.) Its effect is to draw the self into the self: I am so miserable, my misery is greater than anyone else's around me, they cannot understand, my misery is special, my very own personal sump. It's horrible to admit it but there is a perverse pleasure in giving in to this lure of thoughts. They are insidious, compelling, and they drown out generative thought. That is what I fear most: the disappearance of thoughts. The nothingness. It's the most horrible state of mind, and it has an almost physical attribute; because of the inability to escape the sheer internalness of the experience, sanity begins to drift apart and floating in the void of unthinking becomes present reality. The inner vision is more compelling than real surroundings and colours everything with darkness. So lame then to realise that there is nothing special about the experience but that it is common, and January is a bad month for it. Today blue sky has broken through. The extra light is enough to show up how dirty the house has become and has shamed me into hoovering.

Tate ...

Dear Anna
Thank you for calling into Tate in relation to our current vacancies. Please do keep reviewing our website, http://www.tate.co.uk as we regularly update our vacancies and if you do see any position that you are interested in, please do not hesitate to apply to us.
For further help with your job search you could try the Recruitment and Employment Confederation (REC) website on http://www.jobseekers-uk.com , as they hold a list of other recruitment agencies which you may find useful.
Sorry we have been unable to assist you on this occasion, however I would like to thank you for your interest and wish you well with your search for suitable employment. Yours sincerely

what do I know?

If I know the maiden name of a friend's mother, is this knowledge? Is it something I have learned? Should I have learned this kind of information in school? And if I had, would it have served me as well? What shall I do with the things I know? How do I know that they are as they are? Which knowledge means anything?