failure of pride

I am curious why I have, of late, preferenced the poverty and lowliness of my ancestry. On my mother's side, my people weren't so poor. Some sense of this lingered in her sometimes exaggerated sense of status - exacerbated by delusional mental illness, but not founded on nothing. Her father lost the bulk of his inherited wealth in the financial crash that came before 1926, the year in which my mother was born. 1926 would not have been a good year for my Swiss grandparents: already poor, with one child, they had twin girls. My mother's fate, as unwelcome number 3, was sealed; she got the leftovers of everything, so grew up with a sense of being worth less than everyone else. No wonder she left when she could.
She often spoke with pride of her own great aunt. Mädi, I think she was known as; she was featured in a national magazine as Kanton Bern's only woman pig farmer. And she was wealthy, as was the rest of that generation of family. My grandfather was given a sizeable chunk of land on the Rheinbank in Neuhausen-am-Rheinfall as his wedding gift. It was this land that allowed him to survive the financial ruin of the '20's. Initially farmed, it was gradually sold off, eventually leaving only the plot of number 10 Flurlingerweg which had on it two houses, my grandparents' house and one they rented to a couple. In 1974 when I worked in Switzerland the couple were still there and welcoming and remembered my mother. Both houses are gone now.
I have random memories all the time, some aspect of wandering brain activity that comes with age. I remember standing with my mother, must have been in the early '70's, on the street in front of the beautiful shaded house, and my mother asking for some plums from the trees planted there. Her father had planted the trees. Now years later I can feel her pain.